The Weekly Muck: NFL Picks from the Black Lagoon Week 15

by @Swampy_Swami (Gene Henke)

Rams take on the New Orleans Saints. Photo credit NFL 

Heyyyyy everybody and welcome once again to week 15 edition to The Weekly Muck! Have no fear because your favorite SwampMan is here! First off I just want to apologize for the extremely tardy posting of this week’s Mucky 5; it has been a very busy week for the Swamper. I know last week I promised to go 5-0 and it looks like I have to apologize again for falling one short and going a solid 4-1. If you followed the five picks, I am pretty sure you won’t be too mad at me though, heheh. I am a firm believer that if not for the blizzard of the season in Philly, the Lions join the Dolphins, Vikings, Falcons, and Chargers in the week 14 Swampthing winner’s party. Don’t fret my friends, as I feel very strongly about the following plays. So without further ado, I bring to you, the week 15 edition of The Weekly Muck, enjoy folks!

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS +5:

Rookie QB Mike Glennon has been absolutely stellar thus far since taking the reigns as the Buc QB after a terrible start to the season. This kid is the real deal and only seems to keep improving week to week. As a result the Buc’s offense has been rallying around him and overall playing awesome the last couple of weeks continuing to gain confidence. This is an extremely dangerous team right now. They have won four games in the last five weeks beating solid opponents. This Sunday the 49ers come into town to take on a hot Tampa team after coming off of their biggest win of the season when they defeated the mighty Seattle Seahawks at home in San Francisco last weekend. This could be a bad spot for the 49ers. The fact that they had to sell out with everything they had to get the win against their biggest rival in the game takes a lot out of them and could have a lasting effect into this week’s game. That win was everything to them; they needed to prove to themselves that they are capable of beating the Seahawks, and they were able to do so, good for them. Now as they are surely beat up a bit from that epic battle, they have to take on a team that has nothing to lose and will treat this as their Super Bowl, ahhh scary! Tampa has been stopping the run effectively lately and I think they will give the Niner run game fits on Sunday. This will then force Kaepernick to do his thing to win the game but he will not have it easy by any means facing the super talented secondary featuring the great cornerback Darrelle Revis, and hard hitting safeties Dashon Goldson and Mark Barron. They will give the Niner offense fits all day jacked up at home to get a HUGE upset win in front of their fans. Second year Buccaneer linebacker Lavonte David is among the best young LBs in the league and will Kaepernick’s worst nightmare on Sunday, mark my words. The Niner defense will then have their hands full with the emergence of running back Bobby Rainey combined with Glennon utilizing wide receiver Vincent Jackson by taking long shots down the field. I can go on and on about this game but I will just end it with, the Bucs will be AMPED for it and confident that they can pull out the upset. They will give this one everything they got no doubt about it. We are catching five points here, so just smile and say thank you!

CLEVELAND BROWNS PK:

Similar to the situation above, the Browns will be treating this upcoming game against DAA BEARS at home as their own little Super Bowl of the season, and get this, they will pull it off! DAA BEARS are off a huge win on Monday Night Football against a terrible Cowboy effort which made DAA BEARS look like one of the best teams in the league. While DAA BEARS offense is lethal with the new Monsters of the Midway Marshall, Jeffrey, and Bennett, their defense is absolutely awful. Their defense literally is one of the worst ones I have seen thus far. They cannot stop the run or pass. It has been decimated with injuries to all their key players and veterans and now has a couple of clueless talented rookies in there who are just simply not ready yet. It is a good thing that Chicago can put up a ton of points on offense or else they would be in trouble. While not punting once and facing a mirror image of a team in Dallas on Monday whom has an even worse defense (hard to believe, but they do), they won’t be able to score with such ease against a team with a great defense like the Browns. The Browns will be JACKED up for this one at home for sure. They have been playing much better and are just falling short of getting the wins at the end of games. Last week for example they led the Patriots all game and somehow blew it in the final minutes. The effort was there however, and they look like they will finish the season strong as their defense is stout and their offense has a new found lethal weapon in wide receiver Josh Gordon. They have finally found some stability at QB with the veteran Jason Campbell and this has allowed them to let this team finally mesh on offense a bit. They will be able to do whatever they want against Chicago’s defense, whether it is run or pass, they will be successful. Chicago on the other hand will do its thing on offense as they are just too talented to completely stop; however Brown’s stud CB Joe Haden should be able to eliminate one of the two beasts, Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffrey. These guys are absolute freaks. They really are something, easily the best wide receiver duo in the NFL. Bear’s QB Jay Cutler will be making the start fresh off his injury. Call me crazy but I think it takes him a little bit to shake the rust off, and that it will show on Sunday facing the motivated Brown’s defense. Basically bottom line, DAA BEARS won’t be able to stop anything DAA BROWNS do, AKA Browns get the big win at home.

TENEESEE TITANS +3:

This one won’t take too long. The titans are underrated, and the Cardinals overrated. I know the Cards have playoff hopes somewhat, but I just can’t see them in the playoff mix for much longer. Especially after losing the young and studly rookie standout safety Tyrann Mathieu, or one may be more familiar with him as the “Honeybadger.” This kid was a huge help to them on defense and Arizona was smart to take him late in the draft as he dropped due to “off the field issues,” AKA being a kid. That is an argument for another day however, back to the game. The Titans have been playing good ball, and are due for a win. They will be home and in position to play spoiler and I think they take advantage to do so. The walking interception, Carson Palmer has also been playing much better lately. I think this is simply too good to be true and that he is due to crash and burn. This is the week that he will come back down to Earth and throw away the game, literally. The Titan defense will be up for this one at home and they will get to Carson early and often. The Amish Rifle Titan QB Brad Fitzpatrick, has been a nice fit filling in for injured QB Jake Locker while he is currently spending some time inside the Hurt Locker, badumpssshhhhh! Corny I know, but I couldn’t resist, heheh. Fitzmagic will be able to exploit the Cardinal secondary without the presence Honeybadger his absence will be greatly missed by the Cards. Fitz now just has to stay away from Patrick Peterson, and he will have success. The combination of running backs Chris Johnson and Shonne Green will also be able to move the ball and I see the Titans owning the time of possession in this one to get the win to bring you Swampthing’s SLIMY SPOILER OF THE WEEK!!!! WOOO!!!!

ST LOUIS RAMS +7:

The Rams are a team that plays extremely well at home, especially when playing a well-respected, clearly better team such as the New Orleans Saints. The Rams seem to rise to the occasion of their opponent. When at home in the dome, their talent flourishes. They have speedy weapons such as rookie wide receiver Tavon Austin, who does his damage by cutting at super high speeds in which most humans cannot match. One could argue that the Ram’s pass rush is the best in the league, certainly one of the best at least. The combination of standout defensive ends Chris Long and Robert Quinn coming off the edges with big bodies like Michael Brockers in the middle can prove to be a true force. I think when they face an elite QB like Drew Brees for example, they play their best football. There is no doubt in my mind that the Ram defensive line wreaks havoc this weekend for Brees. Long and Quinn will be coming off both edges sandwich sacking Brees as soon as he drops back, if he does get the ball off before taking the HUGE hits, they won’t be his best passes and will be throwing ducks to ball hawking cornerback Janoris Jenkins. This is another case of a team who is already out of the playoff race, and getting amped up to play spoiler to an elite playoff team, treating it as their own personal little Super Bowl for their loyal fans. Although I am not confident in Rams QB Kellen Clemens, I have been LOVIN’ the way Ram’s RB Zac Stacy has been running the rock lately, the man is like a bowling ball. I can just see them pounding the run all game, controlling the clock keeping Brees on the sidelines and banging short and long field goals with the strong leg of “Legatron,” Greg Zeurlein to stay within the number. This is a live dawgie folks and its barking! Take the seven!

****BLACK LAGOON BONUS PICK – DETROIT LIONS -6:

The Lions were the SwampMan’s only loss of the week 14 MUCK 5 picks. I want you to do me one favor, erase that game completely from your memory. Not because I got it wrong, but because it is a false perception of the Lions all together. If that game is played in clear weather, the Lions roll over the Eagles no problem. They were forced to eliminate the passing game, which is no secret the Lion’s bread and butter, and turn to a running offence because of the heavy snow. It also didn’t help that their starting running back hurt himself in warm ups and was unable to play for the game all together. Despite all of this, the Lions almost still almost beat the highly overrated Eagles. This week’s Monday Night Football game heads to Detroit where the Lions are back in their dome where they are at their best, facing another highly overrated team, the Baltimore Ravens. The Ravens seem to be getting extremely lucky to pull out wins over teams that are at the bottom of the league, like the Minnesota Vikings last week for example. The Ravens should have lost that game and were able to overcome the deficit and pull it out in the remaining seconds, good for them. However, on this upcoming Monday Night, they will get their butts kicked, no doubt about it. The Lions have now opened the door for the Chicago Bears and even Green Bay Packers to come in and take the division lead from their grasp. Despite the division being gift wrapped for them with a big bow on top, the Lions have chosen to do everything the hard way, as they seem to do quite often. Back to what I was saying before; forget about last week’s game all together. That was a freak snow storm and completely evens the playing field for both teams. I am not trying to make an excuse for the Lions by any means, the truth is fair is fair and both teams had to play in the conditions. I am saying however, that this is a false observation of how good this team is. Now after you forget about that game I want you to think back to Thanksgiving Day, where the Lions tormented the Packers at home in front of the world while the prepped their turkey. This Detroit defensive line is loaded with talent and arguably the best in the league. When they want to, they can play like it also. They were able to absolutely CRUSH Matt Flynn and the Packers offense on Thanksgiving when they felt like playing. With Suh, Fairley, Young, and now their top draft pick rookie Ziggy Ansah, this line is undeniably lethal. Ravens QB Joe Flacco hasn’t been quite himself since winning the Super Bowl last year. He has shown flashes of it, but for the most part he has gotten paid and turned into the old mediocre Joe Flacco of old prior to the Flaccenstien he turned into during the playoffs last year. On top of that, one of the best running backs in the game Ray Rice has also not been himself by any means at all this entire season thus far. I think this all points to the Ravens offensive line, and how bad they are. Call me crazy but when a bad offensive line meets with an insane defensive line such as the one the Detroit Lions have, I think it is safe to say that the Ravens will be in for a long, long night. Suh and Co. will love nothing more than to completely demolish Flacco and the Ravens in front of the world on their first Monday Night Football game of the year. Matt Stafford will also have a field day against a mediocre Ravens secondary with the NFL best wide receiver Calvin Johnson, AKA Megatron. Nobody on that Raven’s team is going to stop him, or even slow him down, that’s for damn sure. Reggie Bush will be back in the lineup to keep defenses honest when trying to smother Megatron and prove to be the excellent X Factor that he truly is when he has a big game also. This one could and will get ugly Monday Night, take my word for it. The Lions are going to use these last three games to work out some last kinks while securing their spot as the division leader. They have a fairly weak remaining two games after this week in the Giants and Vikings. The Lions have blown close game after close game. They should honestly have won their last six games and instead split them, blowing a few at the end against the Steelers, Bucs, and of course how can we forget the fluke “Snow Bowl” game against the Eagles last weekend. I think they get it together starting Monday night. Call me crazy but I see the Lions winning out the rest of the season. As a result they will get hot and peak at the PERFECT time, and then doing some serious damage in the playoffs by pulling an upset or two. Don’t look now but Detroit is a serious contender, I kid you not. Don’t even hesitate to eat the points in this one. Lions blow the Ravens out to make a statement.

Alright everyone, thankfully I will go ahead and shut-up now. I apologize once more, this time for the very lengthy game summaries. I just feel very strongly about these five and will hopefully be right and finally get that 5-0 record for ya! As always please feel free to reach out to me on here in the comments section or via twitter @swampy_swami. I hopefully won’t ever take so long to get the Muck up on RF Sports ever again to make sure you all can view it ASAP. Enjoy the games everyone and until next week, SWAMPY LOVES YA BABY!

-Swampthing