The Weekly Muck: NFL Picks Week 8

Ryan Tennehill and the Miami Dolphins play the Patriots.
Photo credit NFL 

by Gene Henke

Hello everyone and welcome to another addition of the Weekly Muck. It was a rough outing in the Swamp last Sunday and the SwampMan is looking for revenge! I want to apologize for providing you with a bunch of losers last weekend and promise to get back on track this time around. The only team to prevail out of my picks was the Jets, go figure! It was probably the least likely one to do so but that is the NFL for ya! It is where odd things happen. Teams that are supposed to win don’t and ones that aren’t supposed to, do. Write that down. That being said this week I have a bucket full of slimy winners for ya, so let’s waste no more time and dive headfirst into the Muck:



NEW YORK GIANTS +6:

The GMEN finally got their first win last Monday Night. Although it was against a lowly Vikings team in the midst of a much publicized QB controversy, it was a win nonetheless. This was the best possible medicine the doctor could have ordered to get things rolling for them. Even though this win was like taking candy from a baby and the Giants still didn’t play well, it allowed them to finally get that evil monkey off of their back. This weekend they take on a divisional foe in Philadelphia in an extremely crucial game. The GMEN know that if they plan on seriously making an attempt at a run this season, there is no time to waste and this is in fact a MUST win game. The Eagles have already beaten them a few weeks ago in their own house and now it is time for the GMEN to return the favor. Michael Vick isn’t completely healthy just yet and is being rushed back to start at QB for the Eagles this week since Nickfoleon Dynamite crapped his pants so hard last week. This factor combined with facing a desperate Giant team with their backs against the wall, will result in a close game. The gun slinging Charlie Brown, also known as Eli Manning, will throw all over this secondary. Cruz and Nicks should be able to reach the endzone numerous times and get the job done. I am putting this game on Slimy Spoiler Alert, but to be safe take the points here. In the words of Frank the Tank – you’re my boy blue! (just a shameless Old School plug)

MIAMI DOLPHINS +7:

The Phins were off to a great start this season and then have not been the same since they suffered a meltdown in New Orleans on Monday Night a few weeks back. Are they who we thought they were? Or are they a contender? Only time will tell. I for one believe that this is an extremely talented team with something to prove. They are in a very tough division and with the other three teams all performing well thus far, the pressure is on for the Dolphins to produce ASAP. The Miami Mess travels to Foxborough to face a wounded Patriots team this Sunday. This is a MUST win divisional game if they have any hopes at hanging around later this year. The Patriots are off a tough loss to the Jets last week and now is the time to strike for the Dolphins. They have Cameron Wake back and should be able to establish a solid pass rush against Brady which will fluster him throughout the game. We all know the only way to beat Mr. Brady is to hit him early and often. I am not saying I think the Phins win here by any means, but I am saying that I think they give the Patriots a fight and the result will be a lot closer than seven points. I anticipate a hard fought battle here between two rivals that ends in a FG win for either team. Hopefully if it’s the Phins kicking the game winner, it’s laces out Finkle!!! (Another shameless movie reference, my man Ace Ventura baby)

NEW YORK JETS +6: 

The Jets are flying high right now after getting a win over their divisional big brother the New England Patriots, (just like Swampy told ya they would). Geno looks to be getting more and more comfortable in this offense and the defense is playing lights out. Their confidence is building at a rapid pace this season as they head to Cincinnati to take on the Bengals who are loaded with talent and coming off a lucky last second win over the Detroit Lions. The Bengals are a bit overrated and the spread is too big here in my opinion. The Jet defense will put Dalton under pressure forcing him into some tough situations as they did Tom Brady last week and they have the perfect cornerback in Cromartie to frustrate WR AJ Green all game long. I like the Jets to continue to establish the run game and keep this thing close. I know I have mentioned the Jet rollercoaster ride in previous write-ups and this would technically be a week where they come crashing down. However, again I am not saying they win this one here, but I do feel as though they keep this game within the number. Take the Geno and the Jerks again this week with confidence to play well this week as all the pressure is on their opponent’s side.

KANSAS CITY CHEIFS -9:

KC has just been plain awesome this year, especially at home. It is quite simple, when the Chiefs are good playing like they are this year, Kansas City is one of the toughest stadiums to play in as a visitor. The KC defense is arguably the league’s best. Their pass rush is as good as it gets. They feed off of the energy from the home crowd and wreak havoc against opposing QBs. Although the offense doesn’t put up the most points, I remembered who was starting at QB for Cleveland this weekend. That’s right, good ‘ol Jason Campbell. This guy has never been more than a decent backup QB. He was terrible in Chicago last year when he was called upon and I remember him not being able to do anything then, just like he won’t be able to this weekend. The Chefs will be licking their chops this weekend with a chance to pad their stats and feast on some Campbell Soup all game long. The Browns have zero run game. They do have very talented weapons to throw to it is just too bad that Campbell along with his extremely slow release of the football is no match for this pass rush. He will not be able to get the rock to them whatsoever. That being said, the Chefs will eventually put up enough points to cover the spread. They may even shut the Browns out here. This one could get ugly. Have no fear and eat the points the Chefs are cooking up for you. Eat ‘em up! YUMMMAY!

***BLACK LAGOON BONUS PICK- ARIZONA CARDINALS -2.5:

The Cards are coming off an embarrassing defeat on prime time football last week against the mighty Seattle Seahawks. They will surely look to bounce back at home this weekend and restore some pride in their fans when they take on the Atlanta Falcons. The Falcons on the other hand, are coming off of an impressive win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. However, Swampthing warns you to not be fooled here. The Bucs are one of the words teams in the NFL by far at the moment. They have given up on their coach and are in complete disarray. That is a story for another day however. The SwampMan can see right through this mirage and is here to warn you that the Falcons will get beat this Sunday. How quickly we forget how bad the Jets exploited the Falcons two weeks ago on Monday Night Football in the Georgia Dome. The Falcons have far too many holes on defense and even Carson Palmer should be able to get enough time against this nonexistent pass rush to be able to exploit them just like Geno did. The Cardinal defense will lock down what few receiving weapons the Falcons have left and frustrate Matty Ice to the point where he will melt. Patrick Peterson and the Honey Badger will lead their team to victory this Sunday in the Bird Game. Larry Fitz and Co. should have a day here, Cards prevail. There you have it folks! There are the SwampMan’s five winners on this week’s edition of The Weekly Muck. The SwampMonster is going to go lurk the sludge and get his scare on this weekend being that it is Halloween but as always feel free to tweet me at @swampy_swami with whatever input or questions you may have and I will get back to you as soon as I can. Enjoy the games this weekend as they should be very entertaining. Until next week everybody, Happy Halloween and remember Swampy loves ya baby!