Dallas Cowboys Fans Are Too Fancy for The NFL

New Cowboy Stadium. Photo Credit: Kirby Lee/ USA Today Sports

The Dallas Cowboys are still the most watched NFL franchise as the records stand today.  There is a Class A stadium, which brings a Class A experience when it comes to Football Fans. 
 
By: Omie D

Flat Screens all over the "Palace" including bathrooms, concession stands, sushi and go-go dancers, $12.00 Beers selfie chances galore! More than 100,000 fans pack the seats each Sunday or Monday or Thursday to cheer on their Hometown Cowboys.

 "And We Kick Off the First Half" The crowd roars as the kick is returned and a "Rib Moving" tackle is made by a player on the Cowboys special teams. Fans "high five" each other, swig from their beers and settle in for a four quarter battle to the end!!!  But that's just it, literally until 2nd Half that is it.

These fancy pants fans are sitting in cushy chairs, relaxing in posh bowl seating, relaxing as waitresses bring them Miller Lite. They are talking about their fancy North Park Mall shoes, or fur coat. They are watching the game in the front row on an 80 yard long big screen. Children are dressed in Easter linens and no one is painted from head to toe. Where is the couple that sit in the same section every week and wear the same outfit!  

"Dallas has no Real Fans in the stands!"  

Let's not talk Game knowledge with this crowd. Why are You screaming on 3rd and 17 while Romo is trying to audible to Dez Bryant?? Why are You reading D Magazine while the other team is on Offense??? Why in the Hell are You sitting Down?? Where are the Real Fans!!!!!

Records, Pshhh not with these soft Fans! ( It's Math Time)

 A crowd of 100,000 people and Dallas does not hold the record for the loudest stadium!!!  What are these fans doing during the game??  Arrowhead Stadium, which is home to the Kansas City Chiefs, holds a measly 77,000 fans with no roof. The record is currently set at 142.2 decibels, which is the equivalent of parking a jet plane in the parking lot. Ear Pain begins at 125 decibels, that means any opposing team is trying to call plays on an aircraft carrier with a constant ringing.

  Makes it impossible for Linemen to be perfect on a snap count, Wideouts can't hear adjustments.  .001422 decibels per fan is all it takes, make that .001522 decibels is all it takes from 100,000 people to make the difference in a Cowboys Home Winning Streak.  The average human speaks at a level of 76 decibels, What???? Yes, 76 decibels.  All Cowboy fans have to do is speak the word DEFENSE in unison and change the tide of the game.  So next time a Cowboy fan says he is going to game, refer him to this piece.  I am teaching fan Education, Just ask for me

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