The Weekly Muck: NFL Picks from the Black Lagoon Week 14

Adrian Peterson and the Minnesota Vikings take
on the Baltimore Ravens. Photo credit NFL 

by @Swampy_Swami (Gene Henke)

Helloooooooooo everyone and welcome once again to The Weekly Muck! Week 14 has snuck up on us pretty quickly here and the SwampMan is not too happy about it. The season will be gone before we know it! So let us be sure to enjoy these last remaining weeks while they are here. Last week Swamper went a measly 3-2 again after the Amish Rifle threw an interception on the Titan’s potential backdoor covering drive and the Redskins blew a win at the end once again. That one had me ticked off as I will blame the ending on the zebras but that is an argument for another day. The good news was the Panthers romped the Bucs as planned, the Vikings overcame some unlucky adversity to get a win in OT, and the Seahawks absolutely destroyed the Saints on Monday night like we predicted to give the SwampDocta 3 winnas. This week I plan to get out of this 3-2 rut and give you a strong 5-0 week. I feel really good about these picks so without further ado let’s jump right into the swamp, enjoy everyone!

MINNESOTA VIKINGS +7:

The lowly Vikings have been playing better as of late. They have just come out the winner of a game that could have went either way when it resulted in an intense “kick-off” to determine the outcome. The Vikes were able to beat DAAA BEARS who many would agree are the superior team. After this win at home, I think the Vikings are feeling good and will look to finish the year strong. They head into Baltimore to take on a team who is also trying to make the playoffs and are coming off of an exciting win over their longtime rival the Steelers, on Thanksgiving night. While I do think the Ravens will be victorious this Sunday over the Vikings, I do not think it will be an easy one whatsoever. The Vikings are finally gelling a bit on offense with their wide receiving core stepping up and starting to make plays in the offense. Veteran Greg Jennings and rookie standout Cordarrelle Patterson have become a presence on offense and have to be accounted for recently which opens up the run game for the game’s greatest running back, Adrian Peterson. I think that the Vikings will pound the rock with AP in a game that should have some unfriendly weather to the passing game with winds and wetness. That being said, the Ravens haven’t exactly been a high powered offense thus far this season and aren’t the team to put up big numbers and points in a game. I don’t think they should be laying 7 points to anyone and will gladly take a Vikings team with some newly found confidence to come to play in this one pressure free and hang tough.

MIAMI DOLPHINS +3.5:

The Phins have been coming around in recent weeks and are right in the middle of the playoff hunt for a wildcard spot. After a strong 3-0 start to the season, the Dolphins crashed and burned and have been unable to take flight again. When the Incognito scandal surfaced, the team seemed to really come together and rally around their coach to take on the world. It has worked thus far and the Phins seem to finally be clicking. Their defense is healthy and playing extremely well while Tannehill looks to be better than ever and comfortable in the offense.  He is standing strong in the pocket and it looks like him and big money wide receiver Mike Wallace, have finally found some chemistry in the passing game. This is a huge game for Mikey Wallace as he heads back to the house of his old team the Pittsburgh Steelers, for the first time since he departed somewhat controversially. Wallace took the money and ran as some would say and will most likely be booed this Sunday in a game where both teams are striving to squeak into the playoffs via wildcard. I for one think the Dolphins have the best chance to take the spot opposite Kansas City and I really think they do so. Out of the bunch left in the hunt, they have the best offense and defense and I think they win outright this Sunday in Pitt. The Phins get the win this weekend to give you Swampthing’s Slimy Spoiler of the week!

DETROIT LIONS +2.5:

The Lions finally got off the schnide this past Turkey Day when they FINALLY defeated the Green Bay Packers on the holiday. Every year it seems as I enjoy some Turkey in the swamp, it starts off with me watching the Lions get their butts handed to them by usually, the Packers. Although the NFL has changed it up a bit recently, the Lions still get their butts kicked on Thanksgiving nonetheless; it is just that no team has done it to them more than the Packers. Therefore, I don’t blame the Lions for not taking their foot off the gas pedal and enjoying themselves as they returned the favor to the Aaron Rodgerless Packers, and neither should you. After a devastating loss to the Buccaneers the week prior, the Lions bounced back and took advantage of the QBless Pack using the game to get back on track as they should’ve. It was the perfect medicine this team could have asked for, showing the world how good and dangerous they can be when playing well and most importantly, reinstating the confidence within themselves. That being said I think the Lions will use these last four games to really get in the zone and head full steam up the ramp to peak at the perfect time, the playoffs. Although their opponent this weekend (the Philadelphia Eagles) has been playing extremely well as of late, I think the Lions will be too much for them to handle in this one. The Lions offense can be so potent when rolling on all cylinders, aka QB Matt Stafford playing well and distributing the ball. He should be able to do just that against the Eagles defense, who are mediocre at best. They WON’T be able to cover Megatron and that right there is a problem my friend. Philly QB Nickfoleon Dynamite has been dominating and will also do his thing Sunday, but the Detroit defensive front has been playing their best football recently and will surely put some heat on him. As a result, the Lions will put up more points and win this one, giving you yet another Swampy Spoiler of the week! Two Spoilers this week?! HOLY MOLY! Yes mam, two spoilers indeed. I believe the Lions now have a sense of urgency and finally realize that the division has been gift wrapped for them this season with QB injuries to the Packers and Bears and that they need to wake up and seize the opportunity. These boys can win these last four and make a deep playoff run with their dangerous weapons. WHY NOT DETROIT? 

ATLANTA FALCONS +3.5:

There is no doubt about it; things have been ugly this year down in ATL. Due to severe injuries and a crappy defense, the team that was once upon a time a Super Bowl favorite, is now lurking among the league’s worst teams. However, they were able to get their first win in quite some time last week against the Bills in an exciting overtime battle against the Buffalo Bills. This is the kind of win that can give some confidence and feel good vibes to a team that is in the position that ATL is in. Wide receiver Roddy White looks to finally be fully healthy and has been a big factor on the field. Pair that up with arguably the greatest tight end ever, Tony Gonzalez playing his last season, and a finally healthy monster running back Stephen Jackson, and you get a pretty lethal attacking offense led by QB Matty Ice. These boys are disappointed in their season no doubt, but will not just roll over a die just like that. They will play hard and will do so until the end, you can bet your buttcheeks on that one. That kind of attitude is contagious and will spread to the rest of the team. The defense had a pretty good game last week also, causing a HUGE turnover in overtime to get their offense the ball back which allowed them to put together a game winning drive. They will look to build on this when heading into Lambeau this weekend to take on a depleted Packers squad. Unlike the Falcons, this team is unmotivated and may just be going through the motions as we saw how bad they can be when doing so on Thanksgiving against the Lions. Despite rookie running back Eddie Lacy, there aren’t many other bright spots on the Packer offense without Aaron Rodgers at the helm to get them the ball. This game is a simple case of one team coming to play, and the other forgetting to do so. I like ATL to come into Lambeau this weekend motivated to put together a consecutive win for themselves, while the Packers will be sleepwalking until the final whistle. Take the points here as it should be close either way.

****BLACK LAGOON BONUS PICK – SAN DIEGO CHARGERS -3:

The San Diego SuperChargers will be hosting the lowly New York Giants this Sunday in a game that has some serious value for them. While the door to the playoffs is quickly closing for the Bolts, there is still some small hope that they can get it done. December has always been the Charger’s favorite month and it is almost safe to say that the GMEN are not going to make the playoffs. That being said the Bolts will be amped for this game and should have plenty of success in the passing game versus the crappy Giant secondary. This is simply not the Giant’s year as they just stink on both sides of the ball. Last week they were extremely lucky to pull out a win versus the Deadskins and most likely won’t be so fortunate this Sunday. Old Man Rivers loves to throw the ball and throw it often. He should have a great game against this ghostly secondary and I think the Bolts will blow the GMEN out of the water. Eli is just off this season and is not getting any help from any of his weapons except for wide receiver Victor Cruz.  Cruz may be able to get a touchdown or two, but that is about it. The Bolts will be super charged on Sunday and eat the GMEN alive. Lay the three points without hesitation. In the words of my main man Forrest Gump, that’s all I have to say about that.

Well folks that about does it for another edition of The Weekly Muck. I hope you enjoyed reading these winners and that you will come visit me next week to see what the SwampMan has on tap for you in week 15. As always feel free to comment below or tweet me @swampy_swami with any questions you may have regarding the games above or ones that I may have not mentioned and I will get back to you as soon as I am able to. For those of you who are in your fantasy football playoffs, good luck and may the swamp be with you! Alright everyone, good talk. See you next week. Enjoy the games!

Love,

Swampthing