The Weekly Muck: NFL Picks From The Black Lagoon Week 13

Can Cam Newton and the Panthers keep winning?
Photo credit NFL 

by @Swampy_Swami (Gene Henke)

Hello and welcome everyone to the week 13 edition of The Weekly Muck. I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and got your eat on while enjoying some football. What is better than that huh?! Nothing really if you ask me. Food, drinks, and football on a day off from work! It is like God’s gift to man. A big thanks to the Pilgrims and Indians, Swampy loves you baby! Now onto some business, last week the SwampMan had his worst weekend yet for his top five picks going an ugly 2-3 for the week. The Rams and Patriots pulled out the wins while the Texans, Redskins, and Browns all got their butts handed to them. This week the SwampMan promises to make that up to you by providing five brand new sexy picks for ya to sink your teeth into. I suggest you call your local locksmith and get him on standby because without further ado, I bring to you the five locks of the weekend! Enjoy!

MINNESOTA VIKINGS -1:

The Vikings are coming off a tie ball game against their big brother in the division, the Green Bay Packers. Nobody likes a tie; one would almost rather lose than tie their opponent as it doesn’t do anybody any good. This weekend the Vikes will host DAA BEARS in what should be another close one. The fact that DAA BEARS cannot stop the run game by any means plays perfectly into the hands of the Vikings as that is just about all they can do. The Vikings have Earth Alien Adrian Peterson in their backfield and they will let him run wild in this one. AP will control the game by running up and down the field keeping DA BEARS offense on the sideline. Also, Quarterback Christian Ponder has been playing his best football as of late. He seems to be getting better every week so Swampthing sees him continuing his progress against this weak and injured Bear defense. After this one, DA Bears will surely be hurrying QB Jay Cutler back into action as I foresee defensive end Jared Allen putting the hurt on old man replacement Josh McCown. Take the Vikes at home to get the dubbya.

TENNESEE TITANS +3.5

The Titans head into Indianapolis this weekend to take on their arch nemesis, the lowly Colts. Ever since wide receiver Reggie Wayne has gone down for the season, Andrew Luck has been struggling greatly to find the same success in the passing game as he did earlier in the season. Judging by the previous matchup between these two teams a few weeks ago, the SwampMan foresees another close battle being decided either way by a last second field goal. The Titans have the better defense in this one and their replacement QB “The Amish Rifle” AKA Ryan Fitzpatrick has been playing very well to boot. Fitzpatrick has opened up the passing game which in turn creates room for CJ2K to look more like himself ripping off big gain runs more often than not. Although their hopes are small, the Titans are right in the mix for a wildcard spot and will come ready to play this Sunday. They almost and probably should’ve beaten the Colts when they last played so I believe this provides them the confidence they need to believe they can do it when they give another crack at it on Sunday. Take the points here as this one is a coin flip.

CAROLINA PANTHERS -7.5:

The Panthers have been this year’s surprise stud team and will keep it rolling this weekend at home when the Tampa Bay Buccaneers pay them a kind visit. The Bucs have been playing better lately there is no doubt about that, however I think their luck runs out this weekend when they face off against the incredibly stout Panther defense. Tampa QB Glennon has been superb in his first couple of starts in the NFL this season and has done everything one could expect of him as he is a rookie QB on a bad team. He has led them to a few wins thus far but is in some deep trouble this weekend. The Panther defense is one of the league best and will surely use the young QB’s inexperience against him. They will hit him with many complicated defensive formations to confuse him and force him into some costly mistakes with their lethal pass rush. Panther QB Cam Newton will do his thing against this Buccaneer defense as it is nothing special. They were able to intercept Lion QB Matthew Stafford last weekend a bunch of times which resulted in an upset win for the Bucs, but Cam won’t make these same mistakes and force passes when they aren’t there. Instead he will use his legs and take off from the pocket running over anyone in his path who tries to tackle him. Not to mention this game is a divisional matchup so there is some bad blood between these two teams for sure. The Panthers will want to not only beat them, but beat them bad, especially at home in front of their home crowd. Carolina rolls here.  

WASHINGTON REDSKINS +1.5:

I know, I know, how can I pick the Redskins after that game last weekend right? Right. However these New York Giants are awful as well. The Giants were able to win four straight games after an 0-6 start but let us not forget who those four teams were that they beat. Yep, they all stink. They lost to the Cowboys last weekend in a must win situation at home which as a result has definitely taken all the air out of this team. They sold out trying to beat Romo and the Cowboys and were unable to do so. The Cowboys are no studly team either might I add. Their defense is terrible. RG3 will bounce back with a second chance to show the world he is who we thought he was on the big stage when he plays against the Giants on Sunday Night. He torched them last year in both meetings and it is safe to say he OWNS the Giants. The Skins LOVE to run the football and will be able to do so with success against the GMEN. Also, without defensive end JPP playing for the GMEN they will have 0 pass rush. When RG3 is not pressured, he can throw with the best of them. That being said, I fully expect RG3 to have a MONSTER game against the GMEN at home, on Sunday Night Football. Eli is in trouble as well facing the pass rush of Orakpo and Kerrigan and won’t be able to escape the pocket like Kaepernick was able to last weekend. Something is not right with Eli this season and the Redskins know this and will take advantage of it. They will smother Cruz and force the GMEN to beat them another way, and they won’t be able to. Skins get the win for the Swampthing SLIMY SPOILER of the week!

BLACK LAGOON BONUS PICK - SEATTLE SEAHAWKS -5.5:

To make a long story short, the Saints aren’t the same team when facing a physical defense. Their passing game doesn’t have the same success when Drew Brees is under a lot of heat and pressured all game. This weekend he will be just that. He is going into the hardest place to play in the NFL to face the mean Seattle Seahawk defense. The Hawks will get in his face and cause him to be highly uncomfortable all night. The Legion of BOOM will be all over Jimmy Graham and limit his production. That place will be rocking hosting a Monday Night Football game with a playoff like matchup. The Saints also don’t fare well against offenses that are physical and like to run the ball down their throat. Enter BEASTMODE Marshawn Lynch. Lynch will have his pregame skittles and be ready to lay the hurt on the Saint defense. The Hawks will have plenty of success running the rock all night which will open up the passing game for QB Russel Wilson and allow him to play with his newly added weapon, Percy Harvin. We are in for a real treat on Monday watching this offense with a finally healthy Percy added to it. Oh man I can’t wait. Don’t even think twice about it and take the Seahawks and lay the points in this one. They will limit Brees and this offense and put up points on offense. Hawks make a statement here!

Well folks that about does it for the week 13 edition of The Weekly Muck! I hope you all enjoyed the read and I also hope to make up the not so good picks from last weekend with these five winners. As always feel free to reach out to me via Twitter @swampy_swami with any questions you may have. Ask me anything about the games listed here or ones that aren’t and I will get back to you with my insight as soon as I can. Ask me anything at all really and I will be sure to get back to you. It tends to get lonely out here in the swamp! Until next time my friends, enjoy the games!